Abused Bella
by Carpie Noctrum
Summary: Bella Swan was not an ordinary girl she had misfortunes like everyone else but she had some of the worst fortune. Bella Swan was eight when it started, when her life became more of a nightmare than a fairytale. This is her story.
1. Chapter 1

Okay guys I have decided to edit Abused Bella cause I was reading over it and didn't like it that much so I re-vamped it kinda, it's the same story line I just didn't like how I had written it so...yeah anyway I am now finished my Leaving Certificate and for those who don't know what that is lets guys say next year I am going to collage! Yeah Baby! So for the next three months I can concentrate on my stories for a while.

Hope you enjoy this new and improved chapter

Loves and Hugs,

Noctrum.

I own the story line; Stephanie Meyer owns all the twilight characters.

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_Memory; _Narrator

Bella Swan was not an ordinary girl she had misfortunes like everyone else but she had some of the worst fortune. Bella Swan was eight when it started, when her life became more of a nightmare than a fairytale. This is her story.

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_"Bella get down here right now" her father yelled in anger. Bella rushed down the stairs, her face cut and bruised form the beating Charlie had given to her. Bella's family was happy once but when her mother suddenly disappeared her life became drastically different. Bella, who looked so much like her mother Renée, caused Charlie to look at her with hatred and disgust. From this, a seed of anger and distrust grew and the need for survival took root._

_Charlie stood at the bottom of the stairs there waiting for her, staring at her with contempt. Bella nervously fidgeted with the hem of her top never looking her father in the eye. _

"_Get into the kitchen." He said calmly. Bella scurried to the kitchen faster than a squirrel but quieter than a cat. They're lying beside the sink was a pan. Bella froze looking at the pan, whimpering apologies to her father. _

"_Sorry. SORRY!" The sound of his hand hitting her face echoed throughout the room. "How dare you leave this house in a mess!" He yelled at her hitting her until she was in the fetal position on the ground. Charlie stared at her as she lay there broken and bruised. His mouth curled up in disgust and spat on her._

"_Clean yourself up you worthless whore." Charlie walked away from her, having no feeling of guilt or shame as he left her there._

Bella no longer knew what it was liked to be loved, to be cared for or cherished. She was a shell of a person just living from hour to hour, minute to minute never having hope for the future.

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More on the way please review!

(:

Thank you for reading our stories!


	2. Chapter 2

Okay I really have to tell you this, can you come closer to the screen so I can destroy your eye sight, thanks

_"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."_

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Bella = 17

Beep Beep Beep Beep

I rolled over hitting my hand off that darn alarm clock off. Monday, the day of days, the day that makes one day less to live. I quickly got dressed in my usual outfit baggy jeans and a hoodie. Quietly making my way down the stairs, I made my way to the kitchen making Charlie his breakfast, grabbing a banana and an apple silently making my way out the door before he awoke. Charlie never did like me there while he ate breakfast and I made a point of not being there.

I looked up taking in the dark grey anonymous clouds rolling in form the east. Putting the fruit into my big brown rug sack, I made my way down the street pulling my half into a quick, acceptable plate.

I couldn't help but wonder as I made my way down the street, would I make it to the end of the year? Charlie has been more aggressive in his way of showing me my "wrong doings" and was causing alot more damage than usual. Maybe I had something to do with the Anniversary coming up or maybe he was just sick of me.

I turned a corner and saw there in front of was Forks High, the castle of our town. Where jocks came to meet The Fakes and where Sluts came to get fucked, even the Cougars in the town came to visit.

Girls twitter and tweeted to each other about love lives and forbidden vampire love. Imagine that falling in love with a vampire; you'd have to into necrophilia if that happened. Or maybe not cause that would mean you could love a zombie and that is just fucking weirder than loving a vampire. I couldn't help but shivered at where my thoughts were going.

I soon came to the crossroads to hell and walking towards it with this big, dark, black aura surrounding me. I winced as I listened to Sluts mummer names and Jocks making jokes. Going to the office door I dreaded what was going to happen. I apparently skipped to many classes because of my "hospital appointments" and when I was in class I pay no attention, along my assignments not being in on time even though I was to report to the office every day before and after classes.

I couldn't give a flying fuck about those assignments; they were a waste of my time and took me away from cleaning the house.

"Bella how nice to see you! Looks like it's about to rain again." Miss Cole said she's nice but doesn't know when to keep her big fat mouth shut. I sighed it was the same small talk every year and the same thing would happen after she say's that. As if on que squels form girls echoed throughout the school and rain pelted down from the heavens. The door opened behind me, I turned around to see who it was and there standing in front of me where 3 guys and 2 girls looking as though they came out of Vogue. Water dripped down their clothes making the stick against their bodies. I couldn't help but flush at the sight of them.

I knew exactly who they were; people where speaking none stop about then since we had learned that a big time doctor was moving down to the backarse of nowhere. They where the children of Mr and Mrs Cullen, rumours where that the family where forced out of the city and forced to go to small towns where no one would know them.

All they are, are new shiny toys for the student body of Forks to play with. Like children, which I suppose we are, the student body will either try to be their friend and get the scoop on them or they will break them like all children do with their toys when they're board. Turning back to Miss Cole I saw her looking at them with a dazed, lust filled, gaze as she stared at the droplets slowly moving down there muscled bodies, not that I was looking or anything.

"Miss Cole why don't I wait while you handle the kids behind me" I said politely as I saw she was in a daze, she shook her head, clearing or at least trying to clear her mine, when she heard my voice.

"Yes I'll do that" she answered in a dazed voice. I moved out of their way and sat on the couches beside the counter. Reclining back into the chair I saw the family make their way to the counter. I have to say they were the most gorgeous specimens of boys- well more like men I had ever seen.

There standing in my line of sight where three men about 6' 5", 6'6" and 6'7" standing around with nothing more than t-shirts that now clinged to though bodies like a second skin.

The 6'7" guy was one of those body builders, whose muscles where nice and big but didn't look horrible, they were like Vin Diesel's muscles. Compared to me this guy was a giant, if I stood beside this guy I would look like a fly waiting to be crushed. He had dark brown hair that had slight curls in them with mocha coloured eyes and pale skin. His eyes flicked over to me and a larger grim settled over his face I blushed and looked away when he winked at me. I could feel the blood rush to my face.

I looked out of the corner of my eyes to see two sets of hands clenched. I slowly let my eyes move upwards it was to two other boys. The shaggy honey blonde clenched his hand so tight I had thought that blood might have been drawn. He was 6'6" with more of an amber coloured eyes and pale skin. His body was slightly less build but he still had muscles. He looked like he was about to pounce considering how tightly he was wound.

The other was the 6'5", he was more boyish than the rest but was more gorgeous with his bronze hair and what looked like a very dark brown eyes from where I was sitting. He too was wound like a cat waiting for a mouse to scurry into its reach. He too had pale skin like the rest of his family.

I was so preoccupied with looking at them I failed to notice Miss Cole calling my name.

"Bella!" My jerked my head and looked at Miss Cole, blushing dangerously red when I noticed them all staring at me.

"Yes" I replied to her in a small voice, biting my lip in embarrassment. Miss Cole looked at me with a bit of understanding and sympathy. Smiling slightly, in what was I suppose to be in a comforting way, and repeated herself.

"Could you show the new students to they're classrooms?" she said I a pleading voice. I nodded and picked up my bag.

"They have History with Mrs Dunnes at the moment." She called out to me. I froze and asked in a confused voice.

"All of them?" Looking at her for confirmation, that all of them would be having, history at the same time in the same year. It was nothing short of strange. Raising an eyebrow I shrugged of my confusion off and proceeded to show them to classroom 16. Thankfully it was far away from my own classroom and Miss Cole forgot to give me a pass.

"So, can I ask you a question?" I said to them. Looking behind and both sides I saw them gove each other a look.

"Sure." A soft, musical voice came from the side. I turned to look at the 5'3" girl with spiky jet black hair and topaz eyes.

"Are you all quintuplets or somethin'?" I questioned them. Laughter broke from among them.

"No, no" the Tinkerbell replied with small chuckles escaping them. "Where all adopted except for Rose and Jasper who are twins and are Esme's, our mother's, niece and nephew." I nodded as I took in that information. As we moved the rest the way down the corridor in silence, with the odd chuckle and comment of quintuplets coming from the big guy with a slap soon we after, there were no conversations between the lot of us.

"Here you go." I smiled slightly at all of them and started to move away from them. Before leaving I turned around to them and asked a favour.

"If Miss Cole asks where I am tell her I am at "class" because the bell went and I didn't want to be late." I looked at them, well mostly Alice a.k.a Tinkerbell. She nodded in response and waved in goodbye. I lifted my hand up slightly in response and continue my way to the library to read.

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Dude's what ya' think? Please review

Carpie Noctrum

xoxoxoxo

What will happen next wait until next time?

Peace out my peeps ! (:


	3. Chapter 3

Hope you enjoy

Please review, as I would really like some form of feedback thanks.

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The day soon past by as soon as I stuck my nose into a book, getting engrossed with Austen's descriptions of Mr Darcy and Miss Elizabeth Bennett's Love for each other. It was one of the most profound love story I had ever read and the most believable in my opinion. Their love was tangible and relatable, where stories of mystical creatures and the idea of mates where as foreign and a Dodo.

It soon came to the second last class of the day, even though I was not in a rush to go home I was glad that the day passed without any incident. Since it was just after the mid-term (after January) teachers were smart enough to just leave us alone for today and give us a shit load of work tomorrow but with valentine's day, prom and graduation around the corner will be super busy! Can you detect the faint sound of sarcasm because I can taste it in my mouth.

Well anyway as I was saying with no homework and people freaking out about prom and graduation I was living my life to the fullest, meaning I couldn't be arsed to go to class. As I wandered silently to my next class, which was music, I could only wonder if any of the Cullen's was in my class.

Making my way into the class, I went to my desk in the corner of the room it was on the far left beside the window so I could look out into the forest. I put my bad down and stared out for what seemed to be ages until the chair beside my moved I looked up to see boyish bronze hair guy from this morning looking down at me.

"You're the girl from this mornin' aren't you" he questioned. From this view I could see his eyes were practically black and not dark brown. They were like coals of black, animalistic hunger that made me shiver in the most uncomfortable fashion. As if noticing it his lips turned into a sinister smile.

"Yeah I'm Bella Swan" I answered clearing my throat and held out my hand in a polite gesture.

"I'm Edward Cullen nice to meet you" He took my hand and I felt as if I was holding the hand of death until an pleasurable electric shock went up my arm, I quickly pulled my hand away and stared into his eyes. They seemed to have changed slightly, it's as if they've gotten lighter but I couldn't be for sure.

"Sorry, for the shock "I said to him, unable to keep my eyes off of him.

A noise came from the top of the classroom it was teacher, her name was Miss O' Neil from I think she's from Ireland but I wasn't too sure.

"Alright lads I'm Miss O'Neill I'll be your new Music teach because sadly I hear that the last one couldn't cope with ya" She spoke with a deep Irish accent that carried throughout the room.

"I only have a few rules they are 1) No puttin' on your faces while you are here, 2) No one is to say they are part Irish to me. I don't care and the most important rule 3) Do not and I repeat do not ask me why I am here or you're out of me class." She looked around the room giving special attention to the group of blondes at the front who's heads nodded like bobble dolls.

Miss O'Neill was a 5'4", 26 year old, curvy Native Irishwomen with pale skin, long curly brown hair that goes to her waist and had glasses that held the stormiest grey eyes I had ever seen.

"Now I'm going to call out your name, you will raise your hand up and tell me your instrument of choice. "

She started to go down through the list of name; I started to feel someone was staring at me. Turning my head slightly to the side to see who was staring at me. My eyes collided with theirs and like always I couldn't turn my head away.

"Edward Cullen" she called out, Edward snapped out of whatever trance he was in and turned towards her. He raised his hand and replied in a voice that made me weak at the knees

"Piano Ms" he simply said.

She looked up at him and started to chuckled.

"Nice to know there's still gentlemen out there in this day and age" Her expression turned serious "but don't you ever call me Ms again."

I heard Edward chuckle beside me, I looked at him with the weirdest expression on my face and then shrugged it off.

"Isabella Swan" I raised my hand and said.

"Singing"

The bell rang and I went out the door but before I could escape, someone's hand came up from behind me and grabbed my wrist I turned around to see Edward.

"Hey Bella, could I talk to you for a minute ".

The pressure on the bruise was killing me to a point where I nearly cried.

"No" I angrily replied and yanked my arm from him and continued my way to Gym paying no attention to Edward Cullen calling my name and the looks of the student body.

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Thanks! For being patient!

Peace and love

Carpie Noctrum.


	4. Chapter 4

I hope you like the story!

(: (: (: (: !

Sorry if there short but... I don't know what to do

Peace peeps :D

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I walked ran as fast as I could away from him. In some ways he was like Father, never letting go of what doesn't want to be held. As I came to the changing room I slowed my pace and put my ear to the door, listening to see if anyone was there. Hearing no noise I pushed the door open and did a quick scan of the room. Entering a cubical, I sat down, letting the pain from my muscles, my arms, my bruises hit me like a bus. I sighed as I changed I was only grateful to Charlie for one thing getting me out of gym.

With scars and bruises everywhere I don't think anyone would be comfortable with seeing them. I was about to make my way out when I heard

"OMG! Did you like hear like what like happened between like Edward and like what's her face" I heard someone say (blonde 1)

"Yeah heard like, he's like, infatuated with like, her because she did something to them this morning" blonde 2 said back. I slowly heard the voices get dimmer. I gathered my stuff and left the dressing room and made my way to the gym/ basketball court.

As I came into to class I saw all of the Cullen's in the far corner away from anybody else, their eyes snapped towards me in a second as I made my way over to the benches, slumping against the wall may my body protested against the action.

"Bella" I turned to see Mike Newton sitting beside me, I nearly cried there and then when I saw him. My day just gets better and better doesn't it? Why God, must you be so cruel to me, what have I ever done to you that made six stalkers for me?

"Bella" Mike looked at me with concern

"Yeah sorry Mike" Yeah right I would been sorry to you "What did you say?"

"Well I was wondering if you wanted to go to prom with me" he asked shyly. I froze in what could have been described as possum likeness. Felling the rays of death coming from somewhere, I looked over his shoulder to see Jessica Stanley glaring at me like I was the devil; I turned my eyes back to Mike.

"Mike" I spoke slowly. "I am not going to prom. Ever" Mike nodded his head, tightening his face in frustration. Mike Newton was a dirty blond, backstreet boy wannabe, who has been asking me to go out with him since the moment he realized I had boobs.

"There is someone else you could ask." I hinted to him, as though he didn't already know.

"Who?" he asked. This boy it stupider than a box of crackers I thought to myself as I looked at him with the most I-can't-believe-you-asked-that-question-face.

"Jessica! Who else?" I felt the need to bang my head against the wall. Jessica Stanley, a girl who used to be my closet friend, was in love with Mike since the moment he said he thought he was cute. Why would anyone one love this poodle of a man, I have no idea.

"Really" He answered in disbelief.

"Yeah"

"Okay thanks Bella" He smiled and walked towards her, leaning towards her with him arm against the wall. Jessica blushed and giggled behind her hand and nodded quickly letting a giant smile slide over her face.

I nearly shouted for joy finally after everything he was gone, I know he's a nice guy and all but after being stalked for nearly my whole life I don't think he had a chance.

I turned around my now new five stalkers coming towards me.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO YOU PEICE OF SHIT, YOU DEVIL, I NOW FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DIED ON THE CROSS. I but my head down as soon as I saw them, I had done a good deed. Is this like karma or something-?

"Hello Bella" a musical voice said breaking me out of my train of thought. It was how you say... bright and cheerful and I hated it, because they were usually the ones who try to make you smile when you have nothing to smile about.

I brought my head to the one who was talking. It was the pixie one with the black spiky hair... what were their names again? Fuck it, Pixie is now her name.

"Hi" I said in the most annoyed voice ever, when I said that I saw Jasper I think was his name come over and...did a kind of protective stance in front of her. For some reason it made my heart twinge.

As she was about to open her mouth the bell went, grabbing my bag and made my way out, as I made my way down the steps, the laws of gravity decided to kick in. I caught myself before my face hit the floor and said to myself

Me:1 universe: 100,003,675

I heard a growl come from behind me as turned; I saw all of the Cullen's looking at me. My shirt had come up and showed the bruises that covered my whole body and the white scars. I quickly tugged my shirt down and ran off before they could question me.

I turned on the engine and looked up to see the Cullen's looking up at me from the entrance with pity and sympathy from Rosaline, anger and hatred from Edward, Jasper and Muscle Man and a look of blankness from Pixie.

I drove home knowing this would be one of the worst days of my life. It was nearly three days before her disappearance. I looked at my clock, seeing that it was nearly half 4 and Charlie would be home around half 6 so I had 2 hours to make a dinner that would hopefully make him too drunk to do anything. I speed up and quickly made a start on his dinner.

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Please leave comments about the story and I hope you enjoyed this.

Sorry about any spelling if grammar mistakes

Love and Hugs,

Carpie Noctrum

_"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul__And sings the tune without words_

_And never stops – at all.__~Emily Dickinson_


	5. Chapter 5

"_Music is given to us specifically to make order of things, to move from an anarchic, individualistic state to a regulated, perfectly conscious one, which alone insures vitality and durability."_

_– Igor Stravinsky_

_I do not own twilight! This is my story line and Miss O'Neill is mine!_

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Limping out if the house I fought off the pain in my waist and legs. Every step I took spent electric shots of pain up and down my body.

As I came to the entrance of the school, I saw the Cullen's over on the other side of the parking lot waiting. I got out of my car and made my way to the office to start my daily routine. I heard the light squeak of the door as I opened it with care. There was Miss Cole sitting there with the papers ready for me.

Taking them with no form of greeting, I made my way to my locker. I groaned as my arm reached up for my books. Limping slightly to my class I nearly cried with joys there in the corner was my salvation, a free seat waiting for me. Making my way to the back my legs bucked from the pain and nearly caused me to collapse to the floor.

Time passed as the day soon went on and then it came to lunch. Lunch the bane of all high school students lives. This is where loyalties where made and show how the hierarchy of the school. In the centre of the huddle of students there are three tables occupied by the Rich, The Fakes, The Sluts and The Jocks, of course most people inter mingle with each other, such as a Jock can also be Rich and a Slut can also be a Rich and a Fake and so on and so fort.

Going to the lunch line and bought my small-none-filling- lunch, meaning a bottle of water and sat down at my table.

I took out my book and read quietly until I heard the screams cats dying at my ear.

"So like Bella I heard that like you were like on like probation for like assault and like for being like that ugly"

Along with being a Rich and a Fake, a Slut can also be an idiot.

Lauran's voice sounded like a poor group of cats were being killed by dogs.

"Lauran if I was on probation for assault then why would bully me and for being ugly well heard that before why don't you go and get a brain and come up with something that wasn't soooooooooooooo middle school."

I got up leaving her stumped as a tree and went to the music room as that was my next class. I pulled out a chair and took out my note book and began to write. I heard the bell ring and still continued. I continued until I heard the chair beside my move and looked up to see Edward Cullen looking down at me trying to get a good look at what I was doing, I moved my arm to cover it and he took the hint and looked away.

"Bella where did you get those bruises?" he inquired his honey voice laced with concern and anger. His honey eyes bore into my making me unable to look away from them. I don't know what it was about them but there was just something just made me unable to look away once my eyes locked with them.

"I don't know what you're talking about" I said to him in my most confident voice still looking into his eyes. His eyes narrowed and got slightly darker at my reply. I fascinated by it but for some reason I had this feeling that I should be afraid.

"Don't lie it doesn't suite you" he answered back, my eyes narrowed at him.

"Fine I'm clumsy ok" I snapped at him feeling defensive and anger at him. It wasn't his problem and he doesn't have any right to pry into my business especially since he and his family are knew in the area. He doesn't even know me and he wants in on my problems. My hand tightened into fists snapping the pencil in my hand.

He opened his mouth to say something but the teacher came in and shut us all up.

"Now class you will have to play something today for me so who will go first" she asked, no one put up their hands so she went by the role going through them. Most of them were okay but there were some she stopped before they could finish.

"Edward Cullen"

Edward stood up and walked to the grand piano, he put his hands on the keys, his hand moved gracefully and I noticed he was playing Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, I didn't know why but whenever I heard this piece I just felt at ease even though it's so sad. His fingers soon came to an genital end, applause rang out and the role started again the class once everyone calmed down, it was soon coming to an end

"Bella Swan" I moved up to the front of the class and took a deep breathes and let my voice ring out.

**The long way home - Norah Jones**

Well I stumbled in the darkness  
I'm lost and alone  
Though I said I'd go before us  
And show the way back home  
There a light up ahead  
I can't hold onto her arm  
Forgive me pretty baby but I always take the long way home

Money's just something you throw  
Off the back of a train  
Got a handful of lightening  
A hat full of rain  
And I know that I said  
I'd never do it again  
And I love you pretty baby but I always take the long way home

I put food on the table  
And roof overhead  
But I'd trade it all tomorrow  
For The highway instead  
Watch your back if I should tell you  
Loves the only thing I've ever known  
One thing for sure pretty baby I always take the long way home

You know I love you baby  
More than the whole wide world  
You are my woman  
I know you are my pearl  
Let's go out past the party lights  
We can finally be alone  
Come with me and we can take the long way home  
Come with me, together we can take the long way home  
Come with me, together we can take the long way home.

As I finished with a lone tear running down my face and all i met was the bell running out. Everyone stood still, until applause rang out and I nodded my head in appreciation and made my way to my seat to collect my stuff.

"Bella can you come here for a second and you too Edward before you leave" Miss O' Neil said waving her hand at me from the front of the room.

Going too her feeling I felt Edward presence close behind me as I went down the steps.

"Now I know you guys are the beat and just want to go fucking home, but you're the best in the class and I was wondering if you please if you could do something for me" She looked at us with a plea-full tone and continued "Would you two do the beginning song for the prom which is in 4 weeks and then as well as graduation after that."

She looked at us with pleading eyes and her lip in between her lips and well let's just say everything from there on went black.

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"_Love cannot accept what it is. Everywhere on earth it cries out against kindness, compassion, intelligence, everything that leads to compromise. Love demands the impossible, the absolute, the sky on fire, inexhaustible springtime, life after death, and death itself transfigured into eternal life."_

_– Albert Camus_

The original song I had Bella was When She Cries

"When She Cries"

Little girl terrified  
She'd leave her room if only bruises would heal  
A home is no place to hide  
Her heart is breaking from the pain that she feels

_[CHORUS]_  
Every day's the same  
She fights to find her way  
She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray  
She wonders why, does anyone ever hear her when she cries

Today she's turning sixteen  
Everyone singing, but she can't seem to smile  
They never get past arms length  
How could they act like everything is alright?  
She's pulling down her long sleeves  
To cover all the memories that scars leave  
She says, "maybe making me bleed  
will be the answer that could wash the slate clean"

_[CHORUS]_

This is the dark before the dawn  
The storm before the peace  
Don't be afraid 'cause seasons change and  
God is watching over you  
He hears you

Every day's the same  
She fights to find her way  
She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray  
She'll be just fine, cause now he hears her when she cries

Every day's the same  
She fights to find her way  
She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray  
She'll be just fine, cause now he hears her when she cries  
She'll be just fine, cause now he hears her when she cries

Here you go!

Hoped you enjoyed it ! Sorry it's late but I edited it and then I forgot to save *sobs*. Please don't forget to review.

Noctrum!

STRAWBEERYS ARE THE BEST WITH ICE-CREAM!


	6. Chapter 6

Hope you enjoy!

_**Dream;**_ Normal; _Quote_

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Previous

"Bella can you come here for a second and you too Edward before you leave" Miss O' Neil said waving her hand at me from the front of the room.

Going too her feeling I felt Edward presence close behind me as I went down the steps.

"Now I know you guys are the beat and just want to go fucking home, but you're the best in the class and I was wondering if you please if you could do something for me" She looked at us with a plea-full tone and continued "Would you two do the beginning song for the prom which is in 4 weeks and then as well as graduation after that."

She looked at us with pleading eyes and her lip in between her lips and well let's just say everything from there on went black.

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Black was all I saw. My eyes felt heavy and I felt I was under water. All I could hear was a beeping that just seemed to just get faster. I tried to open my eyes but they were heavy and my vision was burry and disoriented. "I don't like this" I thought absently as I strived to keep my eyes open.

"It's okay just sleep." A husky voice said. I relaxed into my bed as left the soft waves of sleep take me away.

"_**Bella! Run!" A voice yelled from behind, I turned to look back only to see nothing. Making my way through the forest I continued my desperate attempt of escape. Something gabbed my ankle and pulled me down, a cry escaped my lips and I could feel the forest floor hitting against my face. I turned around to see him standing over me and a thirst for my blood in his blackened eyes. I tried to scurry backwards, away from him. His hand gripped my throat. **_

"_**Where are you going my Little Dove?" He tightened the grip on my neck-**_

"Bella!"

My eyes snapped opened only to close again when the light hit them. I groaned and tried to block out the light with my hand. I heard the distinct sound of the curtain rings scrapping against the pole.

All I could remember was that Miss O'Neil suggests that I sing with Edward Cullen and then pain. OH SHIT I BLACKOUT CHAIRLES GOING TO KILL ME, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, okay take a deep breath in then out,

"Is she waking up?"

I heard a sweet voice come from the left of me it sounded like soft church bells that but kids to sleep at night.

"I don't know, but her emotions are going hay wire." A deep husky shy voice replied.

Okay Bella now that we heard that convo lets slowly open our eyes and get a look at our surroundings.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw white walls, I looked to where the beeping sound came from, it was a heart monitor, looked to the bottom of my bed and nearly screamed the whole Cullen family was near the window with two adults that might be there parents but one was looking at my chart.

Edward was sitting in the arm chair looking out the window, I moved my arm and he turned to me, I got caught in his stare, his golden eyes captivated me with its depth and the look of life.

"Bella."

He said my name in relief like he was saying a prayer. When he said that everyone looked at me.

"Bella, I'm doctor Carlisle Cullen, are you feeling okay?"

The blonde guy in about his late 20's, with the chart in his hand and a lab coat he was wearing, gave away he was a doctor but he's eyes gave away that he was the father off Edward, Jasper, Muscle Man, Rose and Alice.

"I'm alright. How long was I out?" I questioned him,

"You were out for two days, Bella I was wondering if you would explain to me how those bruises came about." He asked in the most polite voice but I could hear the command underneath.

"I'm clumsy." I simply said to him, if I told him he wouldn't believe me no one would believe that the chief of police beats his daughter.

"Bella." He said. His tone said it all it was the I-know-your-lying tone of voice, but he could do nothing about it unless I said I wanted him to, in these moments you've got to love client confidentiality. I smiled smugly at him, he's smile turned into a frown as he knew he couldn't do anything.

"Well Isabella" I frowned at the name, I hated that name "you are free to go tomorrow, if you don't want help with your situation."

I nodded my head and looked at the rest of the Cullen's and narrowed my eyes at them.

"Don't worry dear they won't say a thing" a sweet voice like honey came from the woman with long brown wavy caramel hair that was sitting on the couch with Rose, who was sitting on Muscle Man, on the right and Jasper on her left. Alice came to sit the left side of me on the visitor's chair.

"Bella" Alice said "you have to let me give you a make-over when you get out of this stinking hospital." She gave me the most cuties puppy dogs that nearly made me say yes but I thought of Charlie.

"No" I said, a gasp came from the hold room I looked at them confused then it hit me like a tonne of bricks, no one has ever said no to her.

I looked at her she looked like she was about cry.

"Please Bella" her voice cracked at my name, she was good, and I nearly said my mouth opened to say yes but I shut it close.

"No" I said again and looked away from her, the rest of Cullen's looked at me like I was the most amazing person in the world.

I heard a huff beside me as Alice made her way to Jasper to seek comfort.

I studied the Cullen kids as their parents had left the room, I had a feeling something was different from them, with their cold skin, strange eye colour and how they turned black.

I looked at Edward he was staring at me studying me like I was him; his eyes were as black as coal and cold as he stared at me. He stood up and walked out and slammed the door.

I looked down and remember I shouldn't be friends with them and asked them to leave as coldly as I could, each one of them stared at me then left. I sighed in relief as they went. I closed my eyes after my long eventful day and cried for what was to come tomorrow.

NEXT DAY

I was in the car with Charlie, it was deathly silent as we drove home I knew what was about to come as soon as we were home. I saw the familiar driveway as he pulled in. We got out of the car and he dragged me by the arm to the house.

He opened the door and pushed me in. I stumbled and turned around to meet him he shut the door and locked it.

He turned to me and hit me in the stomach again and again.

"Did you tell them?"

He shouted at me I shook my head in a no.

"You lying bitch I saw how they looked at me."

He hit me again.

"You know I was going to wait for 2 more weeks but now I'll do it now." I heard the sound of a sipper and I knew what he was going to do I struggled to get away from him but he caught me and brought me down to the basement we never went down to the basement.

Tears covered my face as I struggled against him.

"Now you're going to please me like your mother of a slut should have done" He removed all my clothes and trough me on a worn out bed. I screamed for help and all I was told was

"You can scream all you like because no one is going to hear you" and then he raped me until he was satisfied.

I was left in the dark and all I could think of was "Even a small star can shine in brightness"

I got up and made my way to my room I showered and dressed myself in my dark clothes and made my way out to the forest. I was the only place I could feel safe, I felt free as I remember the quote of Annie Frank

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God.

_Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature._

I made my way to the forest and walked and walked until I came to the deeper part of the forest and was about to keep going until I heard a growl come from the left.

* * *

Here you go it is longer then it usually is hope you enjoy!

Peace out!

And review!

Noctrum! ;)

Freedom is not merely the opportunity to do as one pleases; neither is it merely the opportunity to choose between set alternatives.

Freedom is, first of all, the chance to formulate the available choices, to argue over them - and then, the opportunity to choose.

-C. Wright Mills


	7. Chapter 7

I do not own this sorry if I had not updated sooner I had exams on and did not get time to do the story.

Forgive me.

Noctrum!

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Previous

I got up and made my way to my room I showered and dressed myself in my dark clothes and made my way out to the forest. I was the only place I could feel safe, I felt free as I remember the quote of Annie Frank

_The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God._

_Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature._

I made my way to the forest and walked and walked until I came to the deeper part of the forest and was about to keep going until I heard a growl come from the left.

* * *

_I don't want to be a caged bird.  
I wanna be free and fly._

* * *

I swiftly turned around to see a figure hiding in the shadow of the trees.

"Who's there?" I called out in fear I thought it was Charlie and that he found me, I was so frightened. Edward emerged from the forest shadow and looked at me with coal black eyes, his clothes and mouth were stained with blood. I looked down to his hand and saw him pulling a deer as he came closer to me. I backed away from him.

"Edward, what are you doing here? Where did that b-blood come from" I stuttered as I moved back as he advanced.

"Bella, Bella, Bella the question is, is what am I going to do to you? Isn't it." A chuckle came from his moth as he came forward, like a lion watching his prey.

"I'll give you 5 minutes to get out of here, so why don't you start running."

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. My breath quickened, my body became painful, sobs convulsed through my body.

"Where O where could Little Bella be?!" His voice rang out. I kept running feeling the fear flow through my veins.

"Bella I found you!" Edward sang as I saw he was right behind me I tried to pick up my pace, I looked back and he was not behind me anywhere. I looked back up front and saw him sitting on a low branch tree looking at me in hunger.

"Bella would you like a guess if what I am?" Edward asked me.

"Yes, I would" I answered with my voice sounding more composed then I truly was.

"Guess then." He looked at me with different emotions but with a permanent smirk on his face; it looked like he was slowly coming back

"Vampire" I whispered to him. I looked up at him and saw sadness cover his face and pain in his eyes as I said this.

"Yes" His was his only reply. His expression was heartbreaking, it was everything painful and sad curled up in to one.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I question him with my sobs being held back but tears fell down my face.

"I didn't mean to, you in interrupted my hunting and the smell of your blood was so divine that I felt like I had to have you" He answered back in a velvet voice laced with sadness.

"Bella, can you not tell anyone about my family please." He asked of me I studied him carefully weighing the pro's and con's of the situation.

"Yes, I won't tell anyone" I answered him, he sighed in relief.

"Bella, stay here for a second." he ordered me and ran off into the woods leaving me alone with only my thoughts.

I stood there and thought of Edward, I feared him, I think but it was more when he chased me that got me scared, not him as a person.

"Bella" I looked to see that Edward had returned.

"Come with me." Edward made his way up to me with extreme caution and held my hand and electric current flowed through my arm and around my body. I felt so right with my hand in Edwards that I wanted to get closer to him. It increased and we walked slowly bringing us together as we walked, inch by inch.

"Bella where here" Edward said as he pulled me out of my trance. I looked up to see him looking at me with an undesirable emotion swimming in his topaz eyes.

I looked in front to see a meadow covered in wild flowers, a gasp caught got caught in my throat and turned to Edward.

"It's beautiful" I said to him.

"But its mot compared to what I see" he said with so much an emotion, I studied him carefully.

"And what's that" I question in a small voice.

"You" he breathed out he brought he's hand up to my face as I cased my eyes down.

"Bella look at me" he requested

"Don't lie to me about being beautiful." I said with sadness in my voice. I didn't want him to lie to me because he felt sorry for me I hated that.

"Bella I'm not lying" Edward said "you may not be beautiful in your eyes but you are in mine"

Edward stared down at me and came closer to my face; his lips slightly came down on mine. Electric sparks flew down my body stronger than before, I gasped at the feeling, soon we were out of breath well I was. Edward stared at me and put light butterfly kisses on my face. My eyes closed and when they stopped I stared at him.

"Edward" I said lightly his name came of my tongue like mine.

"Bella, I want to tell you that I love you and I know you're unsure of your feeling but, stay with me please please be mine"he asked with a pleading face on.

"But what about your diet and me" I questioned him in a small voice, I knew I liked him and that I had a feeling that he would not hurt me but I was still unsure of him and concerned on how he made me feel so small.

"Bella as long you are not there where I'm hunting like you were today we'll be fine." He said. I bit my lip.

"Okay but I want you to tell me everything" I ordered

"I wouldn't have it any other way." He brought his face back down and kissed me again.

I didn't know what to do when I was with Edward he made me feel secure and safe like nothing would ever happen to me, even now after being raped I feel safe which is weird, I thought I would never be able to go near a man again but now look at me I'm kissing a Greek God who says he loves me. I feel like it's all a dream and if it is I don't want to wake up.

A gunshot brought us out of our little bubble.

"What was that?" I asked

"Bella, we need to get to my house now." He grabbed my arm and took off. My stomach dropped to the depths of hell. I felt like i was going to get sick. I put my head on Edwards shoulder and tried to shake off the feeling.

"Bella were here." Edward voice calmed me. I looked up to see and large white Victoria mansion in front of me with each Cullen standing in front of the house. I suddenly fell to the ground and a ice cold bolder knocked me on cool.

"Bella" was the last thing I heard until I nodded of to dream land.

* * *

_"No one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to flee and fly high. No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams."_

_-BY JESSE JAKSON_

_"Love cannot accept what it is. Everywhere on earth it cries out against kindness, compassion, intelligence, everything that leads to compromise. Love demands the impossible, the absolute, the sky on fire, inexhaustible springtime, life after death, and death itself transfigured into eternal life." _

_– Albert Camus_

* * *

_Hope you enjoy! :)_

_Noctrum!_


	8. Chapter 8

I do not own twilight only this story line and Miss O' Neill.

Hope you enjoy!

Noctrum :)

* * *

_There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there._  
_- Albert Einstein_

_We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.  
-Buddha_

* * *

Previous

I didn't know what to do when I was with Edward he made me feel secure and safe like nothing would ever happen to me, even now after being raped I feel safe which is weird, I thought I would never be able to go near a man again but now look at me I'm kissing a Greek God who says he loves me. I feel like it's all a dream and if it is I don't want to wake up.

A gunshot brought us out of our little bubble.

"What was that?" I asked

"Bella, we need to get to my house now." He grabbed my arm and took off. I my stomach dropped to hell and I felt like getting sick. I put my head on Edwards shoulder and tried to shake off the feeling.

"Bella were here." Edward voice calmed me. I looked up to see and large white Victoria mansion in front of me with each Cullen standing in front of the house. I suddenly fell to the ground and a ice cold bolder knocked me on cool.

"Bella" was the last thing I heard until I nodded of to dream land.

I was surrounded by darkness, I twist and turned around until I heard a voice, I know your thinking "she's going mad" I would be thinking that to. a deep velvet voice called out to me.

"Bella" the voice said.

"Bella."

I turned to where the voice was coming from but no one was there, kinda like in horror movies just before someone dies.

"Wake up Bella."

O too joy the voice is back again. I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I turned around to see a white doorway that some, not all, have described the way to heaven. I got closer to the door as, it seemed to have ivy going up along the door that grew up it the closer I got. By the time I reached the door, it was completely covered in ivy leaves. I put my hands on the pristine golden handles. I turned around to see any other way but all I saw was darkness. I sighed. I turned back to the door and open it. Suddenly I was surrounded by white. The voice was suddenly closer.

"Open your eyes Bella."

Then black. I snapped my eyes open to see topaz looking down at me with a concerned expression. I opened my mouth and in a relaxed and came manner I let out an un-intelligent sound.

"Huh."

* * *

_A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe._  
_-Wayne Dyer_

* * *

Sorry about it being short :(

Peace out and send me ideas please!

Noctrum!


	9. Chapter 9

Hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Noctrum

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"_Beauty – the adjustment of all parts proportionately so that one cannot add or subtract or change without impairing the harmony of the whole." _

_– Leon Battista Alberti_

"_Every theory of love, from Plato down, teaches that each individual loves in the other sex what he lacks in himself." – G. Stanley Hall_

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Previous

I was surrounded by darkness, I twist and turned around until I heard a voice, I know your thinking "she's going mad" I would be thinking that to, a deep velvet voice.

"Bella" the voice said.

"Bella."

I turned to the voice but no one was there, just like in horror movies just before someone dies.

"Wake up Bella."

O great the voice is back again. I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I turned around to see a white doorway that some, not all, have described the way to heaven. I got closer to the door as, it seemed to have ivy going up along the door but not the two golden handles. By the time I reached the door it was completely covered in ivy leaves. I put my hands on the pristine golden handles. I turned around to see any other way but all I saw was darkness. I sighed. I turned back to the door and open it. Suddenly I was surrounded by white. The voice was suddenly closer.

"Open your eyes Bella."

Then black. I snapped my eyes open to see topaz looking down at me with a concerned expression. I opened my mouth and in a relaxed and came manner I let out an un-intelligent sound.

"Huh."

* * *

"Bella are you all right?" Edwards's voice asked laced with concern. My head ached along with the rest of my body. Everything came flooding back to me. Vampires. SHIT THERE GOING TO EAT ME. I sat up; bid mistake the world around me became fuzzy.

"Bella calm down, breath" After taking a few deep breathes I could see. I was in a king sized bed, the walls held a collection of music, a piano along with manuscripts scattered everywhere where at the far corner of the room. I finally noticed I was not alone with Edward but surrounding the bottom of the where Jazz, I like that he shall now be dupped Jazz (Either that of Emo), Steroid Guy once Muscle Man, and the now Dince once Rose, with Edward and Pix or Alice sitting on the bed.

"What happened?" I remember something white attacking me. I saw Alice with a sheepish look on her face.

"BellaIamreallysorrybutIwasso excitedtheIcouldn'tcontrolmyself, Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeedon'tbemad." Her voice spoke so fast that I could only grab a few words. Sorry, couldn't control, don't be mad.

I sighed. "No harm done." A squeal came from her as she carefully rapped her arms around me. The others smiled when I looked at them.

"Right I should tell you our names again" Pix clapped her hands together.

"This is Rosaline" Pix pointed to Dince, she rolled her eyes not impressed with her antics and continued to look at her nails.

"Emmett." Pointing at Steroid Guy, he gave a boyish grin and brought me into a bid hug nearly squishing the life from me.

"Can't b-b-breath." I gasped as I clawed at him that and his big figure made me want to cower in fear, as he would have the advantage over me if we ever decided to eat me.

"Sorry, I forgot." He sheep-ishly grinned at me with his hand behind his head. I smiled weakly at him.

"And last but not least me, Alice." She sang. I looked at each one of them and couldn't help but think my names where better.

"Why am I here?" I looked at Edward. His eyes turned coal black which scared me.

"Charlie's looking for you." My heart raced at the thought. Charlie looking for me, O SHIT! I was about to run to the door until a cold arm wrapped around me waist.

"What do you think you're doing?," I asked desperate to get away as I struggled against him.

"Holding, you back."

"Why?." As I struggled less as I knew it was a useless attempt, a small tear escaped my eye.

"Because-"He was interrupted by a knock on the door. Carlisle came into the room and eyed the two of us. I was eyed with more consideration.

"I want to talk to Bella alone." The others left the room and soon it was just me and him alone in a bed. I wanted out now. I may be comfy with Edward but others not yet, I 'm not super woman. My heart raced.

"Calm down Bella. I just want to talk." Right sure you do.

"Bella why were there cuts on your inner thighs." My heart stopped right there.

* * *

"_Memory, of all the powers of the mind, is the most delicate and frail." – Ben Jonson_

"_To love, and to be hurt often, and to love again – this is the brave and happy life." – J.E. Buckrose_

"_There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfish, thinking of others first…when you learn to live for others, they will live for you." – Paramahansa Yogananda_

"_Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough." – Dinah Shore_

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I want to say thank you too all the people who have commented on my story, both the good and the bad, as they have all lead to me to become a better writer and thank you too all the people who read this story and have put up with my insane periods of not updating and short writing, along with the bad spelling and punctuation. :) Thank you soooooooooooo much as you have been very supportive.

_Some people plant in the spring and leave in the summer. If you're signed up for a season, see it through. You don't have to stay forever, but at least stay until you see it through._  
_-Jim Rohn_

Please review and hoped you enjoyed this chapter.

Peace out and lots of hugs.

-Noctrum


	10. Chapter 10

_Simone Weil said, 'there are only two things that pierce the human heart: beauty and affliction. Moments we wish would last forever, and moments we wish had never begun.'_

_The vine bears three kinds of grapes: the first of pleasure, the second of intoxication, the third of disgust'. - Diogenes_

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Previous

"I want to talk to Bella alone." The others left the room and soon it was just me and him alone in a bed. I wanted out now. I may be comfy with Edward but others not yet, I 'm not super woman. My heart raced.

"Calm down Bella. I just want to talk." Right sure you do.

"Bella why were there cuts on your thighs." My heart stopped right there.

* * *

"What do you mean?" I said my most confused expression on.

"Bella please" He pleaded with me. "Did he rape you?" He asked as he came over to the bed my heart rate rose. Flashbacks came quicker with each step he took.

"He did nothing to me of that sort." I looked him in that eye as him came closer to me.

"Bella-"He started.

"No." I shouted. I took a deep breath "No" I whispered. "I think it's time for me to leave now." I pulled the off my beaten, broken body. I moved into the bathroom and left him there. No doubt Edward will be up here in a second to convince me to stay. A sharp pounding soon was on the door. I stared at my reflection in front of me. Burses, handprints, scares going deep than the eye can see covered every inch of my skin. I closed my letting the pain of the years flow through the door which had been closed for far too long. I found clothes hidden in the bathroom. I soon leaved my refuge and to face what I had put off for far too long. As I walk into the room everyone stood there looking at me waiting.

"Bella" Edward paused "don't go back." Looking into his topaz eyes I see nothing but concern for my well being.

"Edward I have to." I whispered.

"Bella" A voice called from the Bed I looked to see that Alice had spoken up. "You will die if you do, I have seen it." She spoke nothing but the truth.

"Fate and destiny are nothing written in stone so neither is the future." I spoke. My heart stayed in an even rhythm, it did not race at the sight of Emmet, Jasper or Carlisle like it once did. What was once lost cannot be regained. Life had passed me by before I would let this bad did stop me from living my life. I moved to the door only to be stopped be Rose as she stared down at me I saw pure and utter understanding within them. Stepping out of my path I left the house knowing what to expect when I arrived at home.

It was dark and cold as I entered the household. An eerie silence came to my ears.

"Well, well the prodigal slut returns." His voice came from the darkness. Something hit my head and I was on the floor within seconds.

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Hope you like it.

I know it's not great but don't hurt me.

From Me.

Hugs as always!


	11. Chapter 11

_Although the most acute judges of the witches and even the witches themselves, were convinced of the guilt of witchery, the guilt nevertheless was non-existent. It is thus with all guilt._  
_-Friedrich Nietzsche_

_Guilt is anger directed at ourselves - at what we did or did not do. Resentment is anger directed at others - at what they did or did not do.  
-Peter McWilliams_

* * *

Previous

It was dark and cold as I entered the household. An eerie silence came to my ears.

"Well, well the prodigal slut returns." His voice came from the darkness. Something hit my head and I was on the floor within seconds.

* * *

Pain exploded in the back of my head. I heard the sound of boots making their way to me. Tugs on my hair made me face up wards. His face stared down at me.

"Did you tell them?" He shouted. "DID YOU TELL THEM!?"

"I didn't have to." I whispered with a smirk. Panic and anger contorted his face. Bringing his hand down hard on my face. The pain was nothing I couldn't handle. As I looked at him from the ground I saw nothing but a monster and a broken soul. Charlie kick, punched, clawed at me but I feel as though this was more of an act of desperation instead of the plain anger that was usually in his punches. I finally saw him brake. My laughter could not be contained at the thought for some sweet reason. As I laughed at him his punches became more violent and stronger. It was time as Charlie was about to punch me I pulled a gun out from underneath the couch which I had hidden before and looked at him. I felt no remorse as I pulled the trigger. The pain was evident on his face as he put his hand up to the bullet wound. He looked at me as if in a new light but yet I felt no sorrow. His eyes became duller as he fell to the ground until the light had left them completely. I looked away from the now dead body. Going to the phone I dialed the police and left them when they answered. I cleaned the gun and went to the woods. Going deeper and deeper and deeper I felt as though I was free. Like I was a bird finally being let go.

"Bella" I heard someone whisper my name from behind me. I turned around to see Edward sitting on a branch. "Did know you were a killer."

"And I didn't know you were one too so were even." I sarcastically replied.

"You know what I mean." He looked at me "You feel no remorse." He stated.

"Why should I feel remorse?" I questioned. "Why should I feel bad about killing him? WHY SHOULD I FEEL BAD ABOUT KILLING THE MAN WHO ROBBED ME OF A LIFE?" I screamed at him.

"Why because it makes you less human." He stated

"Well Edward this is what humanity is about as well as the hope, the love, the faith, the compassion, death, pain, despair they all go hand in hand with each other." I whispered to him. "And just because I don't feel bad about killing him doesn't mean for one second that I don't love or feel bad about killing someone else."

I turned my back on him and continued to walk away. I felt two cold arms rap around my waist and held me tight.

"I didn't mean it like that." He whispered in my ear. Brining a hand to my chin he pulled my face towards him gently and kissed me softly on the lips. Pulling back from our sweet embrace I whispered

"Let's go home."

* * *

Hope you like it.

Hugs


	12. Chapter 12

I am so sorry I haven't updated in such a long time. I have just found out my leaving certificate results and for those who don't know what that is it essentially decides which university I go to, YAY! So I've just been sorting that out and trying to find a job. Hope you enjoy this chapter and don't forget to review so I can develop this story better and have the urge to write.

Hugs,

I do not own these twilight characters.

* * *

**Previous**

**"Well Edward this is what humanity is about as well as the hope, the love, the faith, the compassion, death, pain, despair they all go hand in hand with each other." I whispered to him. "And just because I don't feel bad about killing him doesn't mean for one second that I don't love or feel bad about killing someone else."**

**I turned my back on him and continued to walk away. I felt two cold arms rap around my waist and held me tight.**

**"I didn't mean it like that." He whispered in my ear. Brining a hand to my chin he pulled my face towards him gently and kissed me softly on the lips. Pulling back from our sweet embrace I whispered**

**"Let's go home."**

* * *

I couldn't take any more. All the pain I've felt finally broke through the dam I had built. The searing white pain filled my mind and then black.

All there was black. It hurts so bad somebody make, it stop, please, please, please make it stop. It hurts the pain the burning please somebody put it out the fire. All I could do was scream, I don't know if anybody heard me but all I could do was scream. The fire's unbearable. I wish somebody would put it out, please.

"It's okay Bella, it's nearly over." A silk voice said to me in the echoes of my pain. I could feel the tears flow down my face. I wanted this over now. I hurt so much like I was burning and there was no one to save me.

"Bella it's okay were here." The silk voice spoke again.

I felt ice on me somewhere I don't know where but I moaned in pleasure as I felt it, but it was only at one place. My breaths came in short gasped and the fire intensified, my heart became restricted to only one or two beats until, it just stopped and every feeling was gone, all the pain, the burning just stopped.

"Bella" The voice spoke "Open your eyes." And I did, I opened my eyes and the light came filling my vision up with colour. I closed then quickly as I opened them. I slowly opened them again, everything is so bright. Blues seem more bright, reds were redder I couldn't explain it.

"Bella" I looked over to see a blonde man looking at me. He had scars covering his body. My fight or flight response came into effect. A growl built up in my chest. All I thought was this man was dangerous and I had to fight him then run. He growled in response and his lips curled back. I jumped at him and tackled him to the ground I quickly got off him and ran towards to window. Something dragged me back and now I was down. We struggled for a while until he had me pinned and unable to move.

"Don't even think off attacking me or running away when I let go of you." He growled dangerously in my ear. I whimpered and nodded in response. As he let go of me I went to the opposite side of the room. I studied him from head to toe there was something about him that was familiar but I don't quite know what. I heard sound for feet moving very quickly from outside getting closer it sounded like 5 pairs moving but I'm not quite sure they were moving too fast for me to tell. I felt like a caged animal and more were coming to have a look at me. I looked at the man more intently and saw him look at me the same way with intense curiosity. His eyes were an amber colour and then it click for me.

"Jasper" I whispered and the door beneath use slammed open.

"Jasper" I whimpered at him I felt a burning sensation prickle at the back of my eyes. "What's happened to me?" I looked at him in desperation.

He looked at me with sympathy. The feet were getting closer to the room and were moving at a slow pace. As the door opened slowly I ran to Jasper and hid behind him. I didn't know why but I felt save with him in front of me. A first a short pixie like person entered the cautiously, she had short black hair you could say but there were mixtures of dark red within. She looked over at me surprised to see me where I was standing; her skin had one bit mark on her neck with small scrapes around it.

"Bella?" her voice tinkled. "How are you?" Her voice was sympathetic but there was something else behind it. Her eyes were a soft amber colour. I know her, I know I do, but what was her name, what was it... Alice that's right, Alice.

"Alice?" I said in a question as though I was not sure and I wasn't. She smiled brightly at me as though I had given her a giant present. She turned around and made and 'come on' gesture. Entering the room was four others, two women and two men.

The women both had long hair thought the caramel one's was a little bit shorter than the blondes, as well in height. The blonde had more of a 'piss off' look and her eyes were very dark amber, while the brunette had soft mothering features and shining pale amber eyes. The men were totally different one was blonde with a medium build and a fatherly look about him, he two had amber eyes. The brunette male was of a big build and was intimidating not as much as Jasper but intimidating enough for me to on the defensive.

I hissed at them and moved behind Jasper more. I felt threatened. The big one narrowed his eyes at me and growled in response, I naturally growled back at him, and then the blonde girl hissed at me, Jasper growled back.

"Enough" A soft came out we all looked to see the Caramel Lady looking at us with an annoyed face on. "Bella" she addressed me "Why don't we go and but some clean clothes on?" she smiled at me I looked down to see myself covered in dried blood and ripped rage just barely covering the important parts. I blushed and was about to move when my eyes caught the Big One looking at me and stayed behind Jasper. Jasper turned to me and nodded that I go with Caramel Lady. I trust him even though my instincts say to stay near him.

I quickly go to with the Caramel Lady to fine more suitable clothes. As we moved I heard the conversation in the room.

"Emmett back off of her." I heard Jasper growl. Emmett, I know that name too. That's the big one, isn't it?

"Sorry Jasper but when she hissed I just- lost control." He replied sheepishly.

"I know Emmett but yeah got to understand that she sees you as a threat." Jasper replied with a sigh. I looked at Caramel Lady and grabbed the dress she held out for me it was a simple black dress that flared out at the bottom.

"Why was she behind you Jazz?" Alice asked softly, I almost didn't hear it. It was a stupid question it was because-because...why did I hide behind Jasper.

"It's her instinct. It's telling her she can trust me and not you." He explained "She knows I can kill her and because I didn't she is trusting me to protect her." He sighed "I've seen this in most females that have been turned. It's also the reason why most people don't turn on their creators."

I turned my head away from the conversation and moved into room to get changed. I didn't want to hear any more of it.

Wait, does that mean Jasper turned me?

Panic soon over whelmed me as I tried to process what I just heard. Jasper was my creator. Though I don't know what that fully means to me as the child, I believe that is the term, I knew something was- was missing I guess. But it all comes down to one question doesn't it. Why? Why was I a vampire? Why did Jasper turn me and not-not someone else? It's so fuzzy my memories. It's like as though the where covered by a thick fog or a curtain and no matter what I did to pull back the curtain it was just too heavy to move. What's going on with me? A sob came from my chest. What's wrong with me? One sob became two then three until they wouldn't stop. The door opened with a bag and I felt myself be lifted into someone's arms.

"It's okay Bella, it's okay." A southern drawl sounded beside my ear calming me down a little bit but not much. The smell of old leather and hay wafted up my nose. I felt myself truly calming down. I looked up to Jasper's almond eyes.

"Let's go hunt 'kay" He said to me. I nodded unable to trust myself to speak. Neither of us saw anyone as we left the house. As we ran deep into the forest I couldn't help but feel as though something important happened here.

"Bella." Jasper called to me shaking me out of my day dream. I looked at him and walked up to him.

"Yeah" I said quietly as though I didn't want to anger him. Jasper looked at me intently for a while before continuing on.

"Bella I want you to just listen to the area around you and you need to be completely relaxed and just go with your instincts." He instructed to me catching the doubtful look on my face he asked "Can you do that for me" I nodded my head. Might as well try I thought to myself.

I listened to the trees blowing in the slight wind, the birds chirping happily to themselves, ants and insects going to and from places, going thru the cycle of nature. Then I heard it the sound of a strong heart beat and the slight rush of blood within the strong yet fragile body. I followed the sound of the tempting wine that was so close I felt something inside of me snap and I was on it in a second. I was worse than a bloodhound. My teeth sank right into the soft flesh feeling the rush of the blood fill my mouth filling of all of the cracks and crevices of my mouth making my moan in pleasure. I drank until I could hear no heart beat left or a drop of blood. Letting the body I stretched my body feeling new and powerful, there was nothing to describe what I was feeling.

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**_I believe in the compelling power of love. I do not understand it. I believe it to be the most fragrant blossom of all this thorny existence. -Theodore Dreiser_**

**_"The key to change... is to let go of fear." Rosanne Cash_**

**_Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times. -Rita Rudner_**

**_"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else"- Ralph Waldo_**

Hope you enjoy :)

I'll update as soon as possible. Please don't forget to review.

Noctrum


	13. Chapter 13

Sorry I haven't updated I've been busy with college and shit. Yay!

Hope you enjoy this chapter please review

Carpie Noctrum,

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_The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.__ - __Albert Einstein_

**"Yeah" I said quietly as though I didn't want to anger him. Jasper looked at me intently for a while before continuing on.**

**"Bella I want you to just listen to the area around you and you need to be completely relaxed and just go with your instincts." He instructed to me catching the doubtful look on my face he asked "Can you do that for me" I nodded my head. Might as well try I thought to myself.**

**I listened to the trees blowing in the slight wind, the birds chirping happily to themselves, ants and insects going to and from places, going thru the cycle of nature. Then I heard it the sound of a strong heart beat and the slight rush of blood within the strong yet fragile body. I followed the sound of the tempting wine that was so close I felt something inside of me snap and I was on it in a second. I was worse than a bloodhound. My teeth sank right into the soft flesh feeling the rush of the blood fill my mouth filling of all of the cracks and crevices of my mouth making my moan in pleasure. I drank until I could hear no heart beat left or a drop of blood. Letting the body I stretched my body feeling new and powerful, there was nothing to describe what I was feeling. **

"Bella" His voice said behind me. I turn and twisted hissing at him this was my prey.

"Bella come on over here." Jasper got slowly closer to me. I tensed not wanting him near what was mine.

"BELLA" He shouted at me. I whimpered and showed my neck, backing down quickly; I didn't want him angry just to stay away.

"Come here." He sighed opening his arm. I cautiously came towards his open arms. Feeling his arms around me I relaxed breathing in his smoky sent. "Bella I'm not angry at you" He cooed at me he moved his arm up and down my back causing me to arch into his hand. I don't know why but something was so right about this. The comfort he was giving me, the warmth that I could feel off him.

"Come we're going home" he led me away from the smell of dead flesh and the blackened forest. I just closed my eyes letting him lead me to where ever he wanted me to go. Taking a deep breathe I smelt something weird, it smelt like, parchment and ink. It was strange. Jasper growled deeply and placed me behind his back.

"What are you doing here?" his voice contorted in anger. I couldn't see who was talking to but I hear a soft voice flow over me like music.

"I'm here for my mate." Peering from behind Jasper I spotted a boy or was it a man, standing on the porch of the house. His bronze hair glittered even in the dark of night and had beautiful honey, milk eyes but something about him made me curl back behind Jasper.

"She doesn't want you." Jaspers voice was calm, if not a bit smug.

"Jasper, who is he?" I questioned him quietly as he stared straight at him. Jasper stared down at me indecisively and cocked his head to the side. A smile flittered over his face and a snarl escaped from the stranger.

"NO!" He yelled at Jasper and charged. I don't know why I did it but I threw Jasper out of the way and snarled at the man. I didn't like him at all, no one snarls at him, NO ONE! My hand sprung out at hit him across the face sending him flying into the trees. Jasper was at my side in an instant with an arm around my waist. I wrapped my arms around his midriff and buried my face in his chest. I looked up at him to see him staring at me with a mixture of emotions. I was unable to tell what they were but I like how he looked at me. I wanted him to stay looking at me like that.

"JASPER!" The bronze man yelled again. "She is mine." Jasper growled at that statement, I turned my head into the vibrations of his chest and nuzzled his neck softly, turning the growl into a soft purr.

"This is not over Jasper." He said calmly ad he could. Even I could see that he was struggling with that. His hand clenched and unclenched as he stood there staring at me. A feeling of unease swept over me as he continued to stare. I brought my hand up to clutch my protector's shirt.

"STOP IT!" Carlisle yelled at us. I turned my face to see the family there staring at us too. I didn't like all this attention and made it known by whimpering into his chest.

"But-" The man began to explain. Carlisle swung in his direction and stared at him. "Silence you." He continued to stare at him. "You caused enough trouble for five centuries Edward."

Edward. Where have I heard that name before? Edward. Edward. I knew him I know I did, it's on the tip of my tongue. How? How do I know him? Is he an old friend or a recent friend I made at school?

School. I think it had something to do with that. I want to take a walk for a while get away from this place.

Pain, pain was all I felt when I went to take a step. I fell to a heap in the ground uncaring of what was happening to me. I just want it to stop. I want the burning to stop!

Then images started to float around in my mind. Not in sequence but random moments from young to old and old to young. Most of my thoughts never made much sense but this was something new even for me. I just stared at them as they floated with only a few being happy and free. The rest they were cold and dark. Every time I went near one a shiver was go up and down my spine like an electro shock but without the burns.

Okay lads please don't be angry with me so much has been happing in my life at the moment and I simply haven't had the time to even breath let alone write. Not to mention I also have reached a major writers block in this story. I know where I want it to go but how to get it there is the problem.

I would really love if you could review this and tell me if this is good or bad.

I hoped you enjoyed this really short chapter.

Carpie Noctrum,

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	14. Chapter 14

Okay hope you enjoy

Carpie Noctrum

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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_**Song **_

_**Carrie Underwood – Blown away**_

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_**Previous **_

_**Edward. Where have I heard that name before? Edward. Edward. I knew him I know I did, it's on the tip of my tongue. How? How do I know him? Is he an old friend or a recent friend I made at school?**_

_**School. I think it had something to do with that. I want to take a walk for a while get away from this place.**_

_**Pain, pain was all I felt when I went to take a step. I fell to a heap in the ground uncaring of what was happening to me. I just want it to stop. I want the burning to stop!**_

_**Then images started to float around in my mind. Not in sequence but random moments from young to old and old to young. Most of my thoughts never made much sense but this was something new even for me. I just stared at them as they floated with only a few being happy and free. The rest they were cold and dark. Every time I went near one a shiver was go up and down my spine like an electro shock but without the burns.**_

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"_The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled." _

― _Plutarch_

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I didn't like the black but it was calling to me, whispering secrets in my ear, with seductive tones and empty promises. Until it started asking questions, questions I didn't know the answer to. The Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?

I didn't want to feel it again, his betrayal, how he had hurt me when he promised not to. So maybe I do know the answers. I just don't want to answer them or at least answer Him, It, The Voice. Because if I did they would become so clear and crisp I would be reliving it again.

I had felt safe with him, in his arms with the sweet caress of his lips on my face. "Everything was going to be okay" I thought to myself as I basket in his gently love. A giant smile swept over my face as I thought or him and I together. There was nothing holding us back now to be around each other. His arms tightened around me as his lips trailed down my face to my neck. "How much do you love me Bella?" he questioned me in a voice full of promises. Promises that were not what I thought they were. "More than the world." I whispered in his ear not wanting to break the peaceful quite that had covered us.

He continued down to my slim neck, letting his lips only brush over it. I closed my eyes and turned into jelly in his arms. I never felt so loved before from somebody, all those feelings of inadequacy and despair were put into a box and thrown into the water. Then something changed, the air got colder and the peaceful quite turned into awkward stillness.

"Edward." Was all I got before I felt this piercing pain in the side of my neck. Tears fell from my eyes and moans and whimpers spilled from my lips. I don't know how long it was before he stopped and lay me down on the forest floor. The scent of blood and earth filled my senses and a cool breath covered my ear.

"Stupid girl" he whispered in the same soothing tones. "I can't believe you thought I wouldn't drink your blood." I opened my eyes slightly to see him smirking above me. He turned his head slightly to the right and frowned. His hand came up and caressed my face. "It's sad we can't have more time together but don't worry I'll see you soon." My eyes closed again and I could hear something coming from the distance. Cold air whipped all around me and a voice in the darkness whispered "Your Mine."

Your Mine, YOUR MINE, MINE, MINE!

I screamed louder than I ever had before, scaring the birds out of their homes and into the sky. The pain was too much, the betrayal. As fast it came it went. I felt a hand smoothing my hair down trying to ease the remains of the burning pain in my head.

I opened my eyes and saw Jasper looking down at me with a knowing look in his eye and concern. I didn't know what else to do. So I do what I should have done years ago. I ran. I pushed Jasper away from me and I sprinted faster than I ever had before even though I know Jasper would most likely catch me before I got too far I still ran. My feet moved faster, faster and faster. I could feel them behind me trying to catch up with me, but all that did was spurring me on faster. I will make it. I will. I need to.

I didn't know how far I had gotten but I felt them suddenly stop. I stopped and looked behind. There they were standing in a line taking in unneeded breaths. Jasper was looking at me with such anger and longing. He offered his hand to me, looking at it as much as I wanted to I couldn't. I shook my head and sprinted off again. I wasn't long before I heard a loud roar echo in the air.

I didn't know where I was going I just ran. I ran across countries, across mountain tops before I couldn't take the burn any more.

I was in a forest some in America, I couldn't have cared but it was teaming of life. I drained a bear and a few deer before I smelt something so delicious. I needed it more than anything else in the world, I had to have it. I sprinted towards it and could hear a heartbeat coming closer and I just pounced. The prey didn't even have time to make a sound before I was digging into its soft vulnerable flesh. I couldn't help but moan at the taste, it was so sweet. I let the body drop onto the ground and I licked my fingers of the red nectar. I couldn't help but smile for some reason. I looked down and there lying on the ground was a man or what was the remains of one at least.

But I felt no remorse. I know I should he could have had a family waiting for him or friends that would miss him dearly, but all that did was make me hate him even more than before. Why did he get to have a happy life and I didn't? What made him special? And if he didn't have a happy life I took him away from this horrible world. Wasn't he so lucky.

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Hi guys hope you enjoyed this chapter Sorry it's been so long I had exams and college to deal with but I should be updating soon enough.

Don't forget to review please I would really like your opinion on this chapter. Even though I updated it this soon I will most likely be editing it along the way.

Hugs

Carpie Noctrum

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